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Not Doing Too Good [Edit]

Journal Entry: Tue Apr 28, 2009, 1:41 AM
  • Mood: Hysterical




I've been crying and crying for the last days now, I didn't know that humans could have so much liquid around a pair of eyeballs. My grandmom is on her last days now. She's been sick for so many months, and now she's soon to die, we're sure. I haven't seen her, because she lives far away, but my mom is with her at the moment, and the rest of her family.

At least my grandmom has accepted that she's to die, but she's suffering so much these last weeks/days, she's almost not mentally present. I just want her to die now, so that she doesn't have to suffer any more and live her last days with such lack of dignity.

I am not looking forward to the funural, which will take place soon, it all depends on when she will die. So I will be gone for a little while... probably within the next week(s). I hate... hate funerals. I am just thinking of seeing my mother's face, how much it's gotta hurt to loose a mother like that. I can't imagine it, I don't want to imagine it.

I spoke to my father over the phone recently, and I couldn't stop crying. I just hate this waiting. I hate waiting every hour of every day, just waiting for the phone to ring and say that she's dead. I just want it to be over with, quickly.

I don't believe that there is an afterlife for her. I don't believe in a God or a Heaven. Perhaps, in situations like this, I will hope that there is - but I still don't believe it. If there actually is some sort of afterlife, I hope she will finally be reunited with my grandpa, who died over a decade ago.

She's such a strong and brave lady.

:rose:

[Edit]My grandmother died this night, about 1 am, the 28th of April 2009.



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:iconnorishsophie:
I'm so sorry for your loss. :heart:
My grandfather passed away in 2006. He suffered massive internal bleeding in the brain caused by the type of medicine he was on and he went into a coma for one week before he let go. It sucks so bad to lose someone close to you. It is now 3 years and 1 month since that happend, and I still cry over it. Some days are worse than others, but I know that you can still be happy, even if the pain is always there in the back of your mind. I wish you and your family all the best and hope you will experience something wonderful soon :hug:
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:iconriflow:
~riflow May 3, 2009  Student General Artist
I'm sorry to hear about your Grandmother, I hope she rests in peace.
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:iconflutist:
be strong

My deepest condolences
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:iconmiuraeri:
I'm really sorry for your loss :hug: I do understand the suffering :(
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:iconarianja:
im sorry for your loss :hug:
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:iconselendrile-gotg:
:hug: I pray for your grief that it is light and you and your family do not suffer too long. :cuddle: May all of you find peace at the end of this pain.
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:iconcaptain-mcwhitey:
Oh my gosh, that's so awful.
I'm really sorry
My thoughts will be with you and your family
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